Post by eclipse on Jul 8, 2009 21:53:43 GMT -5
Xercese
I didn't know...
-- You never && said --
I didn't know...
-- You never && said --
Few words in the english language can mean as much as 'Death' and 'Loneliness'; the very sounds of those words make one feel melancholy. Their sound, sliding off the tip of your tongue, is so bittersweet that you can almost taste the saltiness of tears. Try it, why don't you? Say them. Say those words, softly, so softly you can hardly hear them... say them with every emotion you ever felt behind them. Now close your eyes and savor the feeling...
That is what Xercese felt as he nudged his way through haunch-high grass, his tail low and his ruff raised at the world around him. It all seemed so.... Happy. So blissful. It made his heart burn, like the wounds were being bathed in lemon juice. Every step was weighted down by the memories he had of Hiroshi, the sweet, short days he spent with his pups, and all of the short minutes in between. They were all he had left, and he dragged them behind him like luggage chained to his paws. He wouldn't forget her even if he could... but as it stood, it was his fault she was gone...
The small, lithe brute was used to pain in his life. He had come back to her that first time half tortured to death. Physical pain was no problem for him. It was easy to pull his mind back into memories of good times and forget about the pain long enough to survive. When he came upon one of the pup's dead body, however, and his lands scented so strongly of other wolves his head spun, the wounds that opened up in his heart and soul were too deep to run from.
Oh, believe me, he tried to run. After a few moments of staring he turned to flee away like it wasn't there. Like flying would turn back the hours he was gone. Like it would solve everything. He ran until his legs burned and his feet bled from thorns and burs. Even after his strength should have waned, he pressed onwards trying to run from the memories he knew, and even things he didn't know.
Xercese had no idea that his flight saved him from the illness... all he knew was after blurred feelings, thoughts, places and days he arrived in the sunny, sweet smelling field alone and still burning inside.
The waving tufts of grass all around him glinted with dew, smelling only of unsullied nature. Everything he saw was pure, divine and golden. It was like Hrellia when he laid with Hiroshi that first night.
...All of the sudden... he wanted it. He wanted the golden fields... the sweet purity. The purpose he was meant to fulfill. Lifting his tail and turning towards the nearest tree, he laid down the first mark. The first declaration that he was alive again.
Oh, it would never be the same as Hiroshi and himself ruling Hrellia... but what did that matter? It can make one stronger to carry a load...
And there was the slight chance....
... that some where out there she was waiting for him.
Farther north than her 5 sister lands, the Kindle Lay is harsh and beautiful. The Lay is medium sized, too large for a young, naive bachelor wolf to try and hold onto and too small for a huge pack. It is full mostly of tall grasses and small flowers, and what sparse trees grow there are spindly and stand either alone or nestled in tiny groups. Deer, rabbit and fowl are common but water is sparse and hard to get to, and the cold winds can be harsh even in summer.